I miss her so much. I know it’s necessary, I know it’s for my own good, I know all that. But god, the pain. All I have left is cherish the memories of a few blessed weeks in October, before everything blew up in my face, and wonder how it’s possible that for these brief moments, I could be so happy.

The only way I had left to be the friend I wanted to be… was to no longer be friends, and remove myself from the situation. And we both knew it. But good lord, cutting off contact feels like ripping out my own heart.