She hits me
Like a wall of bricks
The weight of a thousand unearned expectations
Drags me down
Into the deep
What is it now, the face, the eyes
The skin, the everything,
And anything in between
The harshest critic
The mother of all bullies
Unwelcome
Yet ever present
In an instant changing
From shadow to red hot pincers
dissecting my soul
She knows me well
This relentless foe
Knows my fears
And secrets
And dreams
For she is me
The darkest me
My dysphoria