When I go out Visibly fem Visibly queer I don’t care that you clock me I don’t do it so you can side-eye and sneer I don’t do it so you can wonder what’s in my pants or who I sleep with I don’t do it to turn your kids gay or trans I do it for my queer siblings still closeted I do it for our queer kids who are growing up afraid in a world hostile to them I do it so they know that I’m here for them That I got their back And there is hope and love and community Even when the world tells you there isn’t I’m telling them “you’re safe with me”
And if it bothers you? Kindly go fuck yourself And get out of my way
It’s becoming clearer every day that a change of tack is necessary. So let’s make it happen.
I’m putting comedy on hold for now. My last show was an absolute blast and I’m leaving on this high, until further notice. I’m changing some things about my appearance (which may or may not be an attempt at fending off depression 👀 don’t ask). And I’m gonna be back in earnest to make TCG happen by the end of year.
You don’t complain about the wind, you just adjust the sails.
There’s a saying in aviation that goes “There are two types of pilots, the ones who have crashed, and the ones who will.”
Similarly, in comedy, “There are two types of comedians, the ones who have bombed, and the ones who will.”
And as of yesterday with Show #18, I’m in the former.
It’s an interesting learning experience, to say the least. And as unpleasant as it was, I’m glad I had it before going to Lisbon in two weeks. Gives me an opportunity to plan for contingencies.
I left the door ajar for a while Not out of hope but of denial Poetic delusion bound to dissolve Now I’ve closed it Its lock rusty with tears Its key close to my heart Out of reach
As I walked through the depths of hell I did not look back like Orpheus I stayed true A mantra in my mind That this was a beginning Trudging in the shadows towards the light Bloodied knees and unbroken resolve I snatched it all back My sanity My life My love My hope I did not go through the depths of hell To regain my tranquility So I would lose it now To an undeserving heart I keep going Stumbling maybe But forward Unchained
What a whirlwind this January was. The clouds seem to clear for the first time in very long, and the future is looking bright as hell. Such an unexpected 180 turn, it makes me dizzy just thinking about it. My heart is full of gratitude and renewed strength. Bring it 2025. 💪☀️
Pictured above, such a pleasure to be back on stage yesterday at the Comedy Clubhouse for Midweek crisis comedy! Set #11 and counting!
Show: “Incorruptible” Date: 17/01/2025 Venue: El Tinta Roja Rating: 4.8/5
Welcome to Priseaux, France, in the dark times of ca. 1250 AD. And if, when I said “Priseaux”, your first reaction was a befuddled “Where is that?”, you’re not alone! In this godforsaken and forgotten monastery, the times are dark indeed: calamities keep happening, and Saint Foy, the local saint, hasn’t worked a miracle in years. In short, things are decidedly dire… until the monks receive the visit of a one-eyed minstrel, who shows them how to get out of their predicament, and even maybe get the attention of the Pope himself!
The allure of “Incorruptible” lies in its irreverence and dark humor, and I was all here for it. The actors waltz through themes like the endurance of faith, or the worshipping of relics – whether or not they are really what they claim to be. Without realizing, we find ourselves in the middle of outright graverobbing, desecration, and deception, and laughing about it!
The entire cast shines in their respective roles, starting with Patrick Beverley as Abbot Charles who uses his faith as a crutch against lifelong guilt regarding sawdust-filled bread (it’s a long story!). Alex Jacob plays Brother Martin, who slowly but surely embraces his inner deviousness after years of frustration with his vows of poverty. Kurtis Bright chews the scenery with gusto as Jack, a surprisingly layered character, unapologetically mischievous but still upholding his moral code. Alice Russo and Victoria Russell bicker as mother and daughter trying to benefit from the whole situation, while Bünyamin Cicek and Matthew Murtha play hapless novices Olf and Felix, who try their best to follow their superiors’ shenanigans. Finally, Mara Ambrosie steals the show in her brief but powerful appearance as Abbess Agatha, who’s got a thing or two to say to Charles!
This is the first production by the Barcelona Community Theatre Group, a new theatre troupe on the Barcelona scene, and they certainly start with a bang with “Incorruptible”. While there was the odd muddled line or timing in certain entrances or effects, understandable for a new company in their first production, it did not detract from a thoroughly enjoyable performance. All the actors, most of whom are already experienced comics in their own right, bring their own personal touch to make their character unique and memorable. Beverley, Bright and Russo share credits as co-directors and I can’t wait to see what else they have in store.
Conclusions Overall, I heartily recommend catching a performance of this play. The Abbey of Priseaux will gladly take your coin in exchange for a memorable evening! The next showings will be on January 24th, February 7th and February 14th at the Metamórfosis Theater in Barcelona. Don’t miss it!
In one of these “invest in yourself” kind of things, back in December I (finally!) booked a makeup class to learn how to do it from a professional.
That class was today. And OH MY GOD.
The gender euphoria is strong with this one! I finally feel like I look like ME. I’m incredibly happy with this and very excited about practicing all the techniques I learned today!
2024 was probably the most exhilarating and the most difficult year in my entire life. A year of love and heartbreak, a year of stage fright and acclaim, a year of Pride and getting more comfortable in my queer identity…
• I got the semicolon tattoo I’d thought about for years
• I started doing stand up comedy and now have seven shows under my belt (#8 next thursday 9th)
• I got a “Best Audience Member” award at the Barcelona Comedy Awards 2024 (this one cracks me up!)
• I had my ears pierced
• I went out dressed full fem and went to Pride and rode a float
• I go out dressed more fem/less masc and feel more and more comfortable with it every time
• I fell in love with the wrong person despite my best efforts not to, and it caused me the most intense and difficult heartbreak I’ve ever had to go through in my entire life (this is not hyperbole. 2024, you win that fucking crown you bitch).
• And to my friend, I’m sorry that I couldn’t do better.
• I made absolutely wonderful new friendships and surrounded myself with the most amazing chosen family.
This year, I intend to continue on this path of healing, healing my heart and soul, healing my broken relationship with myself, regaining self-love and acceptance, doing theater, going to more shows and concerts…
2025, you better be different. I no longer hold hope for relationships, or romance, or anything beyond surviving and getting better. 2024 taught me I can only count on myself to do that. The loss I’ve experienced has scarred me for many months to come, but I’ve survived before. I will survive again.
Even if, as Blü Eyes put it, healing fucking hurts sometimes.
Finishing the year with an unexpected SEVENTH SET thanks to the Comedy Clubhouse’s Midweek Crisis show!! 😄 Thank you Mila for hosting and Mara for the picture!
I needed this so much. Having driven back home just a few hours earlier after Christmas with the family, doing this show felt like being back with my tribe. The comedy community in Barcelona is amazing and I love every single one of these wonderful people. ❤️
